


Shopping Spree

by agrajag



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gender Dysphoria, M/M, Trans Eddie Kaspbrak, Trans Richie Tozier
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-05
Updated: 2020-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:34:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23029426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agrajag/pseuds/agrajag
Summary: [S]ometimes [having started his transition before Eddie] meant that [Richie] had already been through a lot of the anguish about "am I doing enough to be a man" and worrying about passing enough that no one would mistake him for a woman. He still loved his signature style that he had been sporting since forever. It was easy enough to throw on a fun patterned button up over a tee, but the fun patterns still then gave him enough color and diversity that he was almost serving a look. But considering he had been dressing basically the same way for the past eight years, he loved to mix it up every once in awhile.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 2
Kudos: 65





	Shopping Spree

**Author's Note:**

> i wasn't sure how to tag this, so i'm just adding this here, that this fic deals with eddie's self image and dysphoria surrounding feminine stuff and he takes that out on richie who is more comfortable embracing that part of himself

Surprisingly, neither of them came out to each other first. Richie had told Bill, because of course he told Bill. At the time, he was the only friend that Richie had. They were six years old and their parents hadn't reached a point where they were afraid to let the two play alone yet. Instead, it was cute that Bill had a little girlfriend, wasn't it? Richie had wrinkled his nose at that, so as soon as his parents left the room, Bill asked him what was wrong.

"I'm not your little girlfriend," Richie had said.

"No, I know that," Bill had replied. "I don't want a girlfriend."

"Because girls have cooties?"

"No, because you're my friend and that's good. It doesn't matter if you're a girl or a boy. You like playing trains with me, so that's all that matters."

"Okay. Good. Because I'm not a girl," Richie had said quickly, with his eyes clenched shut.

"Alright," Bill had said, as if it had been nothing.

And then they had gone back to playing with Bill's trains, and that was that.

Eddie had told Mike first, that fateful summer. Mike had put Eddie into the basket of his bike so they could rush him to the hospital. The rest of the Losers had peddled as fast as they could, yet somehow still fell behind them, so no one heard as Eddie had practically yelled at Mike, 'I don't want to die with no one knowing, but I'm a boy.'

Well, when Eddie told the story, it sounded a little less pathetic than that, but Richie knew his boyfriend. He knew he must have been crying and yelling, because that's what he'd been doing the entire time leading up to that moment. Which, it wasn't like Richie blamed him. He had broken his _fucking arm_. Richie would have been ten times worse.

Anyway, the point was they had each other _right there_ for support, and they were both such idiots that they hadn't realized that. They got there, of course. They both eventually came out to the rest of the Losers, although coming from different directions. Richie had been going by his name and presenting as a boy since before he had met everyone other than Bill. Eddie instead slowly went from tying his long hair up so tight it gave him headaches to chopping it all off and trading his blouses for polos before telling them that he wanted them to call him Eddie.

Richie had almost cried that day.

Just kidding. He totally cried.

Then he got a little angry because Eddie had thrown a wrench in his already confused stance on his sexuality. He had been so, so scared that he was gay, but then his crush on Eddie had started to grow. He had been excited, because if he liked both boys and girls, that meant he could hide that part of himself much easier, but the joke was on him. Eddie had been a boy all along as well.

So growing up trans and gay in the 80s was tough, but they got through it together. Of course all of the Losers were super close and helped each other through whatever the world threw at them, but this was something that only Richie and Eddie could understand, so it brought them closer together. Richie had already been hopelessly in love, and it took Eddie a little longer to catch up with him, but by senior year they were officially an item.

Well, as official as they could be in Derry. The Losers knew, and when they went to the movies, they were able to hold hands in the cover of darkness.

But it was alright, because they were getting the fuck out of there as soon as they could. Richie had gotten a full ride scholarship to NYU, and he was bringing Eddie with him. It wasn't going to be easy, and they both knew that. It was going to take a lot of hard work, but they were willing to do it, because that meant that they were going to finally be able to be themselves outside of their bedrooms.

And so the day came, and Richie parked his truck down the street and waited to see Eddie's silhouette coming down the sidewalk, illuminated by the sun rising behind him. He started to panic for a moment, because Eddie was late. Sure, it was only a few minutes, but Eddie was never a minute late for anything unless he was actually sick, so Richie started to worry that his mother had found out about their plans and had locked Eddie up in his room.

Or worse.

But then there Eddie was, carting three huge suitcases behind him, and Richie fell a little bit more in love. Of course his ridiculous boyfriend would pack an insane amount and try to carry it all by himself. Richie grabbed his car keys and ran over so he could help Eddie before he made a total fool of himself.

"Did you have to pack this much?" he asked, whispering because it felt illegal to raise his voice any higher considering the early morning hour.

"We're literally moving to another state and never coming back," Eddie said, glaring at him. "Do you seriously expect me to leave shit behind?"

Richie shrugged.

"I mean, I did."

"Yeah, well, your parents will let you come back and pick that up when you get a chance. Once my mom finds out I'm gone, that's it. She's going to disown me. And if I _do_ come back, she's going to never let me out of her sight so I can't leave again."

"Okay, yeah, that... That totally makes sense," Richie said as he loaded the last suitcase into the bed of his truck.

Eddie had been about to protest when he threw the first one back there, but he closed his mouth when he saw that Richie had his stuff back there as well and had a cover prepared for once everyone was stored away. Now they each grabbed an end of the cover and secured it safely before they climbed into the front. Richie froze for a moment, his hand halfway to putting the keys into the ignition, as it fully hit him.

They were doing this.

Eddie reached over and rested his hand over Richie's and moved it so they could hold hands between their seats.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

"I feel like I should be asking _you_ that," Richie said with a small laugh. "I asked you to give up everything to come with me. God, that was so selfish of me. Eds, baby, are we making a mistake?"

"No!" Eddie said quickly. "Absolutely not. There was barely anything for me to give up. I've wanted to get away from my mom since before I even realized how terrible she was. I've wanted to get away since that summer and you guys opened my eyes to how fucked up what she was doing was. I've wanted to get away since I fell in love with you and realized that I had to hide that. When you asked me to move to New York, there was literally not a second that I even thought of saying no. The only answer was yes."

"Okay." Richie took a deep breath. "Okay. Yeah. We're doing the right thing. This is the right thing. So, let's go."

He turned the key and drove off of Eddie's street, happy to never have to see the place ever again.

They drove in silence for awhile before Richie told Eddie to look through his cassette tape and CD binders to find something to listen to. Richie had saved nearly every last cent he had earned from all of his part time jobs for this day, but he _did_ set aside some so he could fix up the radio situation in his truck. He bought one of the consoles that had a cassette and CD player, and he had to admit it was money well spent. Eddie may have chastised him for it sometimes, but as more and more new music was released on disc, he stopped bitching about it as much. He still went for the cassette binder first and pulled out a favorite of them both, Slanted and Enchanted. As the beginning of Summer Babe (Winter Version) came through the speakers, Richie finally felt calm.

He couldn't wait to start this chapter of his life, and to do so with Eddie by his side.

\----------------------------------------

So Richie had been out longer then Eddie had. Usually that just meant he was there to help his boyfriend through those sometimes difficult hurdles because he had already learned how to deal with them. Maybe not in the healthiest ways, but he was doing better than he used to when he was younger. He definitely wasn't going to drink again until he was legally of age, for one.

But sometimes it also meant that he had already been through a lot of the anguish about "am I doing enough to be a man" and worrying about passing enough that no one would mistake him for a woman. He still loved his signature style that he had been sporting since forever. It was easy enough to throw on a fun patterned button up over a tee, but the fun patterns still then gave him enough color and diversity that he was almost serving a look. But considering he had been dressing basically the same way for the past eight years, he loved to mix it up every once in awhile.

He met some really awesome people at his college's GSA program, which Bev had convinced him to join when he told her about the last time he had called her to check in, and was starting to unlearn gendering things. He kind of hated painting his nails because as soon as the paint started to chip, he'd do nothing but pick at it, but he still would paint them every once in awhile. He found that rings were a cool way to add a little flare to his outfit and also doubled as a great way to keep his hands occupied when he was unable to sit still, so he bought two at a thrift store and wore them occasionally. He honestly would have made them a staple and wear them every day, if he hadn't felt weird about making such a drastic change out of nowhere. Like, he wouldn't make such a drastic style change whether it was masculine _or_ feminine. It just felt weird, you know?

But yeah, so he was experimenting a bit more for the first time since he had started living as Richie. He wasn't exactly comfortable enough to wear a dress or anything, but pink and sparkles and glam were fair game.

Now, Eddie had always made fun of the way he dressed, but it had kind of gotten out of hand in the past year. Richie was actually starting to take offense, which was _not_ how their dynamic worked. They made jokes, they bickered, and at the end of the day, they still 100% loved each other and knew it wasn't serious.

It all came to a head when Eddie came home from work one night and snapped at Richie for wearing his pink, fluffy robe in the living room. He said it was because there was nothing under said pink, fluffy robe, but Richie knew that wasn't the real reason Eddie was angry.

"What is it, Eds?" Richie asked, voice cold as ice. "Am I not manly enough for you? Because I'd rather you just admit it and get it over with."

"What? No," Eddie said, and he honestly sounded surprised Richie could suggest something like that. "Trust me, you are _more_ than enough man for me."

Richie crossed his arms.

"Really? Because it doesn't seem like it. You've been going hard on my clothes, and it's usually the girlier stuff."

"Oh," Eddie said softly. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have taken that out on you. I just, uh, I get jealous. That you can wear feminine stuff and not feel bad. And that people still know you're a guy. If I did it, I'd get called ma'am, and I'd want to die."

Immediately any angry Richie felt went flying right out the window.

"Oh, baby come here." Eddie climbed into Richie's arms without complaint for once in his life. Richie ran his fingers through his boyfriend's hair as he continued. "I know how much questioning yourself sucks. It sucks a fat one. But I'll help you through it, okay?"

"Yeah, I know you will," Eddie said with a sniffle.

"Hey, soon you'll have been at the auto shop long enough and have the money saved up that you can start your shots like me. Just think about that when you feel the hate coming."

"I try," Eddie said, nodding against Richie's shoulder. "But I know that it's not going to fix everything, and then it gets to me anyway. Like, it's not going to magically make me taller, for instance."

Richie sighed as he pulled Eddie closer and squeezed him tightly. His height had always been a sensitive topic for Eddie. He wasn't even that short for a guy, and he was frankly tall as shit for... well, how he was born. Richie knew in the past he hadn't exactly helped. He used to poke fun that Eddie was just the right size for him to rest his chin on his head. He, of course, stopped once he realized that Eddie was actually upset by it, because once again. That's how they worked.

"Well, we'll buy you some high heels then," Richie said, and Eddie started laughing.

"Sorry to tell you that I don't think I could pull high heels off."

"Yeah? Neither do I. Mean that I could pull them off," Richie added quickly. "I think you could. I would _love_ to see you in some heels. Maybe something bright red."

"Nice try," Eddie said with a scoff. "I'm not 'dressing up' for you."

Fucking finger quotes and everything.

"You have no problem _undressing_ for me, though," Richie said and waggled his eyebrows. "Hey, how about we go on a little shopping trip this weekend? Buy a few fun things? Not that I don't love your coveralls, but it feels like that's all I ever see you in anymore."

"Alright. Yeah, let's do it. Sounds like it could be fun."

And so that Saturday, they went to the charity shops around Richie's campus. They tried on so many clothes, both from the men's and women's sections, and found some fun shirts for Eddie to wear in his off hours that he was still comfortable in. They weren't as sparkly or glam as some of the things that Richie had taken to wearing, but they were definitely outside of his normal every day wear. Then, since they had the time, they even went through all the accessories sections and managed to come across a few great finds. They were finally able to replace their shitty ass toaster, for one. And then -- 

\-- there was an onyx ring that Richie immediately fell in love with, but even for a used item, it was a little pricey. Eddie tried talking him into getting it, but Richie knew that it was something that he couldn't really justify spending the money on. Between Eddie's paycheck and the money that Richie got from his parents, they were able to live comfortably, but they weren't going out and spending money without careful thought first. Considering that Richie had already bought two rings, he had to tell himself that it was not needed. So he put it back and continued on browsing.

With his back turned, he hadn't noticed that Eddie had picked it right back up and then paid for it while Richie was putting the rest of their purchases in their reusable bags.

"Eds, you shouldn't have," he said when Eddie handed him the ring outside of the store before realizing he sounded like someone being purposed to. Not yet, man. They were too young and it was too soon for that. "I mean, I'm so happy you did, but that money..."

"Is my money and I can spend it on what I want," Eddie said, a little harshly, but Richie knew it came from a place of love. "And sure I can't wait to start my shots, but you know what is even more reaffirming than that? My boyfriend who is so fucking supportive and therefore deserves all the best."

Richie had to fight back tears as he hugged Eddie before slipping the ring onto his finger.

"Aw, Eds, I love you too. Thank you so much."

"Now, let's go home. I'm fucking tired."

Richie laughed, but he had no qualms taking Eddie's hand, and they walked back to _their_ home. Where they got to be themselves, and that was everything.


End file.
